They got off the train a stop before I did, and as she passed me she peeked at me for a second with the tiniest smile.
Topside, I passed another mom with a slightly older daughter, maybe 9. They were giggling, heads together. When I approached on the mostly empty walk, mom straightened up a bit, glanced away from me, daughter gave me a huge grin.
I don't want to get work here anymore. I want to roam the streets and pick up small treasures. Pretend I am with a protective but playful parent, beaming with joy at random people because at this moment, I am loved and safe and special enough that the most wonderful person in my world wants to spend time with me, alone. I keep thinking I should be earning money to pay for all this, but I'm also remembering how when I got back from Florence and totaled everything up, I wished I had allowed myself a little more freedom, spent a little bit more on things that could only happen there, could only come from there.
I've been falling into bed every night since Tuesday before midnight. I'm going to force myself to stay up tonight, see some nightlife, even if I'm feeling weary of adventure and being on guard. It doesn't have to be THE GRAND EVENING OUT. That's the point of a long stay. But no matter how "done" I am, I can do one small thing. I can try. I can have another glass of water & some fruits & veggies or chill out for a bit but get back up and do one more thing. Be both the parent & the child.
Smile. Throat exposed.